I used to rely on wine like a coping strategy in a glass.
Not for fun, not to get drunk. Just to get through.
Through the pressure of the holidays.
Through the social obligations I didn’t know how to say no to.
Through the long, emotionally loaded family dinners.
Through the silence after the guests left and the loneliness returned.
I was a “together” person. I handled it. I hosted. I bought the gifts. I kept smiling.
And when it got too much, I’d pour another.
That’s what made last year so strange—and so powerful.
For the first time, I didn’t drink during the holidays.
Not because I was trying to prove something.
Not because I was counting days.
But because I’d finally learned how to live without needing alcohol to make it through.
And I have alcohol addiction treatment to thank for that.
You Don’t Have to Hit Bottom to Be Tired
I didn’t crash and burn. I didn’t lose everything.
I just got tired of feeling like I was managing my life, not living it.
I was what people call “high-functioning.”
That meant: I got things done. I didn’t fall apart publicly. I looked successful. I kept it together—right up until 6 p.m., when I could pour that first glass of wine and let my guard down.
What people didn’t see was that my mind never really rested. I was tightly wound all day, overstimulated, and silently dreading social events. Alcohol didn’t feel like a thrill. It felt like relief.
Especially during the holidays.
The Holidays Made It Worse—and Easier to Excuse
I used the holidays as my permission slip.
Because everyone drinks in December, right? It’s normal. Expected. Celebrated, even.
But under all the “cheers” and “you deserve it” messages, I was quietly unraveling.
Behind the cheese boards and curated centerpieces, I was anxious, wired, lonely, and overstimulated.
I drank to relax. Then I drank to avoid. Then I drank because I didn’t know how not to.
Every December, I promised myself I’d drink less.
And every year, I poured a little more.
Until one cold night in early January, when I stood alone in my kitchen, staring at an empty bottle and wondering how this became my routine.
That’s when I started to ask the real question:
“What if there’s another way?”
Alcohol Addiction Treatment Felt Like Permission to Choose More
I didn’t know if I “qualified” for treatment.
I wasn’t falling down drunk. I wasn’t in legal trouble.
But I was tired of managing my drinking in secret.
Tired of performing. Tired of needing a substance to soften my life.
When I found alcohol addiction treatment in San Diego through Prosperous Health, it felt like someone finally saw me.
Not the worst version of me. Not the dramatic spiral.
But the part of me that wanted to feel more alive, less numb—and didn’t know where to start.
Outpatient care was a game-changer. I didn’t have to quit my job. I didn’t have to explain anything to my kids.
I just started showing up for myself—in ways I didn’t even know I needed.
What Treatment Looked Like for Someone Like Me
Outpatient treatment gave me structure without disruption. That was huge.
I worked during the day. I had therapy in the evenings. I joined a group on Saturdays.
And for the first time, I wasn’t alone in how I felt.
There were others like me—people who hadn’t hit a classic “bottom,” but who were quietly unraveling beneath the surface.
We talked about perfectionism. Pressure. Image management. Guilt. Avoidance.
And the emotional cost of always having to look “fine.”
Treatment helped me connect the dots I’d been ignoring:
- I didn’t need alcohol because I was broken.
- I used it because I was overburdened, emotionally stretched, and out of tools.
Therapy helped me develop new ones—real, practical ones that actually worked when the urge to drink showed up.
And those tools carried me straight into the holidays.
My First Sober Holiday Felt Raw—And Real
I won’t lie to you: I was nervous.
The first event without a drink in my hand felt strange.
I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Or how to feel comfortable around people who didn’t know I wasn’t drinking.
It was a holiday gathering in the Valley, CA—the kind where wine flows easily and no one questions a refill. That made it even more challenging. But I noticed something else, too.
I noticed that I could be present.
I noticed how much clearer conversations were.
I noticed that my patience wasn’t artificial—it was real.
I noticed my kid’s face when I sat down on the floor and played a game instead of refilling my glass.
There were hard moments. Family tension. Emotional vulnerability. Social overstimulation.
But for the first time in years, I didn’t need to drink them away.
Sobriety Didn’t Fix Everything—But It Made Everything Honest
No, the holidays didn’t become magically stress-free.
But they stopped feeling like something I needed to escape from.
I experienced the sadness that holidays often bring—missing people, navigating difficult relationships, facing grief.
But I also felt joy. And peace. And energy in the morning.
I cried on Christmas Eve—and not because I was overwhelmed or buzzed.
Because I actually felt something again.
Sobriety didn’t flatten me.
It gave me back my depth.
Why High-Functioning People Often Wait Too Long
We get rewarded for hiding.
For keeping the wheels turning. For being “strong.” For getting it all done.
But high-functioning doesn’t mean healthy.
And it doesn’t mean we don’t need help.
I waited because I thought I wasn’t “bad enough.”
But the truth is, by the time I reached out, I’d been living half-alive for years.
You don’t need a dramatic collapse to deserve better.
You just have to want more than a life that’s “fine.”
What I’d Tell You If You’re Where I Was
You’re not weak for needing help.
You’re not broken for drinking to cope.
And you’re not alone in thinking, “This can’t be it.”
There is another version of you waiting beneath the pressure, the exhaustion, the glass of wine that promises relief and delivers nothing lasting.
You can access it.
With support that meets you where you are.
With people who get it—not because they’ve judged you, but because they’ve been you.
Frequently Asked Questions
I still function fine. Do I really need alcohol addiction treatment?
Functioning doesn’t mean you’re thriving. If you’re relying on alcohol to cope, to numb, or to feel “normal,” that’s reason enough to seek support. Treatment can help you reclaim your emotional clarity, even if everything on the outside looks stable.
What does outpatient treatment look like at Prosperous Health?
It’s flexible, structured, and deeply supportive. You’ll get access to individual therapy, process groups, relapse prevention strategies, and evidence-based tools that respect your lifestyle and responsibilities. You can keep working, parenting, and living your life while receiving real, consistent support.
What if I’m afraid sobriety will make life boring?
That fear is common—and deeply human. Alcohol often masquerades as a shortcut to fun or connection. But what many discover is that sobriety creates space for real connection, spontaneous joy, and energy you forgot you had. You won’t lose who you are—you’ll rediscover it.
Will I be judged for coming in “early”?
There’s no such thing as too early. Many people in outpatient care at Prosperous Health haven’t had dramatic consequences. They’re proactive. They’re protecting what matters most before things spiral. That choice is something to be proud of.
How do I know it’s time?
If you’re thinking about it, it’s probably time.
If you’re googling this blog, reading it quietly on your phone, and seeing yourself in these words—that’s enough.
You’re allowed to want a life that feels good, not just one that looks good.
Call It a Gift to Yourself
The holiday season is full of giving—to others, to family, to tradition.
What would it look like to give something to yourself this year?
Peace. Clarity. Rest. Presence.
The chance to feel it all—and survive it sober.
Call (888) 308-4057 to learn more about our Alcohol Addiction Treatment services in San Diego, Ca.
You don’t have to wait to lose it all to ask for more. You just have to decide you’re done surviving the season.